By The Time I Am

I Was At Yankee Stadium One Time At 5 A.m., But That Was To Buy Angel Dust

When You Did Impressions On 'madtv,' The Producers Gave You A Walkman That Played Huge Sections Of Whatever Movie Was Being Parodied, With Your Character's Catchphrases Recorded On A Loop. You'd Wear This Thing Around During Rehearsals And For A Week Listen To The Voice You Had To Impersonate Over And Over Again. It Drove All Of Us Crazy.

If You Are A Black Woman, You Get Two History Months In A Row.

Artie Is Going To Do What Ever Artie Wants To Do.

Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem To Incur Some Kind Of Fine.