Being A Child At Home

A Friend Never Defends A Husband Who Gets His Wife An Electric Skillet For Her Birthday.

When It Comes To Cooking, Five Years Ago I Felt Guilty "just Adding Water." Now I Want To Bang The Tube Against The Countertop And Have A Five-course Meal Pop Out. If It Comes With Plastic Silverware And A Plate That Self-destructs, All The Better.

I Was Leafing Through A Magazine Where There Was A Before-and-after Picture Of A Woman Who Went From A Size 5 To A Size 3 By Liposuction. Was She Serious? I've Cooked Bigger Turkeys Than Her "before" Picture.

Pregnancy Is The Only Time In A Woman's Life She Can Help God Work A Miracle.

There Is Nothing More Miserable In The World Than To Arrive In Paradise And Look Like Your Passport Photo.