As A Parent, I'd -

I Don't Mind Being 65, But Nobody Is Gonna Tell Me To Come In At 5:30 To Have The Early Bird Special.

You Do Live Longer With Bran, But You Spend The Last Fifteen Years On The Toilet.

You Know You Are Getting Old When People Tell You How Good You Look.

When I Read Dickens For The First Time, I Thought He Was Jewish, Because He Wrote About Oppression And Bigotry, All The Things That My Father Talked About.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.