All I've Ever Done Is

Met A Girl The Other Nite And Told Her- Before You Can Be With Someone You Have To Know The Value Of Yourself. So Does $200 Seem Reasonable?

You Can Talk About Things Indirectly, But If You Want To Talk How People Really Talk, You Have To Talk R-rated. I Mean I've Got Three Incredibly Intelligent Daughters, But When You Get Mad, You Get Mad And You Talk Like People Talk. When A Normal 17-year-old Girl Storms Out Of The House Or 15-year-old Boy Is Mad At His Mom Or Dad, They're Not Talking The Way People Talk On Tv. Unless It's Cable.

My Dad's Like, If Your Mom And I Are Having Sex And We Videotape It And She Falls Out Of Bed Funny, Can I Win Ten-thousand Dollars?

I Love Watching People Get Hit In The Crotch. But Only If They Get Back Up. If Their Teeth Are Bleeding, If They're Really Hurt, If An Ambulance Has To Come, I'm Not Laughing.

One Of The First Things I Said When I Signed On For The Show Was No Hugs! Full House Was All Based On Hugs.