Acting Is A Form Of

Wracked With A Hangover I Do My Muttering Over A Black Velvet, A Union Of Champagne And Stout. Don't Be Swindled Into Believing There's Any Cure For A Hangover. I've Tried Them All: Iced Tomatoes, Hot Clam Juice, Brandy Peaches. Like The Common Cold It Defies Solution. Time Alone Can Stay It. The Hair Of The Dog? That Way Lies Folly. It's As Logical As Trying To Put Out A Fire With Applications Of Kerosene.

I Have Enemies I've Never Met - That's Fame.

There Is Less In This Than Meets The Eye.

I've Tried Several Varieties Of Sex. The Conventional Position Makes Me Claustrophobic, And The Others Either Give Me A Stiff Neck Or Lockjaw.

Fill What Is Empty, Empty What Is Full, And Scratch Where It Itches.