I Have Enemies I've Never

I Did What I Could To Inflate The Rumor I Was On My Way To Stardom. What I Was On My Way To, By Any Mathematical Standards Known To Man, Was Oblivion, By Way Of Obscurity.

I'm As Pure As The Driven Slush.

I'm The Foe Of Moderation, The Champion Of Excess.

In My Lifetime I've Been To Bed With Men, Women, And Odd Pieces Of Furniture.

The Less I Behave Like Whistler's Mother The Night Before, The More I Look Like Her The Morning After.