You Might Be A Redneck

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think People That Send Out Graduation Announcements Are Show-offs.

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Had A 900-pound Television On Top Of A Tv Tray. My Dad's Theory Was, 'let Him Pull It Over His Head A Few Times, He'll Learn.'

In My Life, I Have Driven Some Crappy Vehicles. But I Have Never Been So Desperate For A Vehicle That I Wanted A Used Rental Car.

It's Like Cuddling With A Butterball Turkey.

You Break Into My House, I Will Shoot You. My Wife Will Shoot You And Then Spend Thirty Minutes Telling You Why She Shot You.