You May Have Heard This,

The Election Is In Full-swing. Republicans Have Taken Out Round-the-clock Ads Promoting George Bush. Don't We Already Have That? It's Called Fox News.

New Rumors That Saddam Hussein Is Planning To Flee To A Castle In Libya With 10 Billion Dollars. Now President Bush Doesn't Know Whether To Nuke Him Or Give Him A Tax Cut.

Howard Dean Is Narrowing The Field Of Potential Running Mates. It's Down To Mike Tyson Or Bobby Knight.

Did You See The Statue Topple? Bill Clinton Got Nostalgic Seeing Something That Big In A Beret Go Down.

Or As Hockey Player Sergei Fedorov Knows It, 'the Day I Can Legally Start Telling Everyone I Am Sleeping With Anna Kournikova.'