You May Have Heard This,

Senator Hillary Clinton Is Attacking President Bush For Breaking His Campaign Promise To Cut Carbon Dioxide Emissions, Saying A Promise Made, A Promise Broken. And Then Out Of Habit, She Demanded That Bush Spend The Night On The Couch.

Yesterday Jerry Springer Bowed Out Of The Ohio Senate Race. He Said, 'if I Can't Run The Most Embarrassing Campaign In America, Then I'm Out Of Here.'

As Fighting In Iraq Intensifies, President Bush Delivered His Supplemental War Budget To Congress. The Money Will Cover 30 Days Of Fighting, Then We'll Be Sent One War Every Other Month Until We Cancel Our Subscription.

Larry Flynt, Running For Governor Of California. His Goal - Change Our State Bird To The Spread Eagle.

Bryant Gumbel Is Thrilled About His Cbs Deal And Can't Wait To Start Alienating The Staff Of An Entirely New Network.