You Know You're Old When

I'll Never Forget My First Fur. It Was A Modest Little Stole. Modest? People Thought I Was Wearing Anchovies.

It's True Fang And I Fight, But We've Never Gone To Bed Mad. Of Course, One Year We Were Up For Three Months.

Next To Gold And Jewelry, Health Is The Most Important Thing You Can Have.

Oh, That Dog! Ever Hear Of A German Shepherd That Bites Its Nails? Barks With A Lisp? You Say, "attack!" And He Has One. All He Does Is Piddle. He's Nothing But A Fur-covered Kidney That Barks.

I'm Eighteen Years Behind In My Ironing.