You Know What I Worry

When I Thought I Was Retired, I Wanted To Travel Around The World And Watch Soccer Games.

Boy, A Drive-through Liquor Store. God Bless America! A Place Where You Can Drive Through And Buy Whiskey, Beer... Just The Thing For That Drunk Driver Who's Constantly On The Go. Cant Stop Now! I've Got Places To Go, People To Hit!

I Always Run In The Morning On An Empty Stomach, And I'll Go Through A Bottle And A Half Of Water. Then I Have A Protein Drink Or I Eat Egg Whites.

Eating Crappy Food Isn't A Reward -- It's A Punishment.

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.