You Know, A Lot Of

I Love To Go Down To The Schoolyard And Watch All The Little Children Jump Up And Down And Run Around Yelling And Screaming. They Don't Know I'm Only Using Blanks.

But I Like To Swim. At High School, I Tried Out For The Swim Team. I Shaved Off All My Body Hair, And That Extra Burst Of Speed From All The Bullies Shouting Kill The Fairy.

I Wanted To Get From 4th Street To 8th... Then I Remembered Einstein Postulating That Parallel Lines Eventually Meet. They're Dredging My Car From Lake Michigan As We Speak.

When I Was A Kid I Used To Pray Every Night For A New Bicycle. Then I Realised That The Lord Doesn't Work That Way So I Stole One And Asked Him To Forgive Me.

My Jokes Are In My Head And I Have A Duplicate Copy Of My Jokes In A Lot Of British Comics' Heads, Where They Are Safe.