Yea, I've Got A Dream

People Are Always Saying Bad Things About Them, But Really They Think They're Just Trying To Clean Up Our Planet. I'm Not Saying It's Right But, You Know, We Could All Benefit From Following That Example.

I Was Stuck In Traffic One Day And Just Kinda Thought It Would Be Funny To Masturbate. It Was Sunny And Clear Out, So I Was Worried One Of The Other Drivers Would See Me, But My Jeep Is Pretty High Off The Ground, So I Think No One Noticed. I Busted A Nut And Aimed It Down, Ruining My Tweety Bird Floor Mat. I Felt Kinda Stupid After And My Mom Kept Silent The Rest Of The Drive Home. It Was Awkward And I Regret It.

The Problem With Doing Commercials Is That The Only Thing Good Enough For Me To Sell Is Myself, And I Stopped Doing That Once I Kicked My Coke Habit.

I Know The Bible Isn't Real Because It Never Once Mentions Me.

There Is One Person I Can Think Of Better Than Me. And That's Zach Braff. What A Cool Guy.