Why Do People Do Yoga?

Nobody Really Wants To Be A Stand-up, They Want To Get On Tv.

You Know The World Is Messed Up When The Tallest Man In The Nba Is Chinese, The Best Golfer Is Black, And The Best Rapper Is White.

Only Dumb People Try To Impress Smart People. Smart People Just Do What They Do.

Nobody's Good. I Hate It. I Truly Hate It. I Mean, There's A Lot Of Guys Doing Stuff I Admire, But Stand-up-wise I Feel Very Alone. I Really Miss Bill Hicks. I Wish I Could Have Put Him On My Show. And I Really Miss Sam Kinison A Lot. Richard Pryor's Sick... It's Like You Get Here And Then, Oh Wait A Minute, There's Nobody Here Any More. I Feel Like The Guy Who Finally Got Into Studio 54, Three Years Too Late, Duh, Where Are All The Famous People?

You Just Got To Be Really Logical When You're A Comedian - To A Fault. Like A Lawyer's Got To Believe In The Law.