I Was At Michael Jackson's

When You Become A Comedian A Lot Of Stuff That Made You Laugh Before Just Stops. You Stop Watching Your Old Cartoons You Used To Watch. You Stop Reading The Funnies. It's Like Working At A Strip Club. You Don't Come Home And Turn On The Playboy Channel.

The Advantage That My Children Have Is That My Children Are Encountering The Nicest White People That America Has Ever Produced. Let’s Hope America Keeps Producing Nicer White People.

Not A Harvard-type Education, Just A Not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type Education.

Anyone Who Makes Up Their Mind About An Issue Before They Hear The Issue Is A Fool.

I Believe You Got My Property?