When You Finally Learn How

In The Old Days, Ptomaine Poisoning Was A Cover-all. If You Missed A Show And You Were Young, It Meant You Were Having An Abortion. If You Were Old, It Meant You Were Having A Face Lift.

You Have To Have A Talent For Having Talent.

When You Finally Learn How To Do It, You're Too Old For The Good Parts.

I'm Sure The Way To Be Happy Is To Live Well Beyond Your Means!

I Never Got A Job I Didn't Create For Myself.