When You Can't Draw Chameleons

I Recently Forced Myself To Read A Book On Quantum Physics, Just To Try And Learn Something New. I Was Confused By The Middle Of The First Sentence And It All Went Downhill From There. The Only Thing I Can Remember Learning Is That A Parallel Universe Can Theoretically Be Contained On The Head Of A Needle. I Don't Really Know What That Means, But I Am Now More Careful Handling Needles.

Sticking To My Schedule, Ive Gotten Over Seven Months Ahead, Which Allowed Me To Write A Pearls Before Swine Movie Script For The Big Screen.

I'm Very Harsh On Real Estate Agents. I'm Not Sure Why. Maybe It's Because Of How The Call Every Small House 'charming' And Every Run-down House A 'great Fixer-upper'. Just Once, I'd Like Them To Show Me A House And Declare, 'this One's A Piece Of Crap'.

If You Put Me In South Park, That Audience Is Going To Fall Asleep In Five Minutes.

Most Poetry Just Confounds Me. I Really Want To Like It, But I Can't Help Thinking It's A Hoax. (p. 24)