If You Put Me In

Sticking To My Schedule, Ive Gotten Over Seven Months Ahead, Which Allowed Me To Write A Pearls Before Swine Movie Script For The Big Screen.

I Was A Lawyer For 10 Years, And When Youre In Law, Things Really Have To Get Done, Or Somebody Sues You. Its A Great Trick.

I Recently Forced Myself To Read A Book On Quantum Physics, Just To Try And Learn Something New. I Was Confused By The Middle Of The First Sentence And It All Went Downhill From There. The Only Thing I Can Remember Learning Is That A Parallel Universe Can Theoretically Be Contained On The Head Of A Needle. I Don't Really Know What That Means, But I Am Now More Careful Handling Needles.

The Phrase 'i Just Turn On My Monkey And It Makes Me Feel Good' Sounds Very Dirty, But I Can't Explain Why. It's Great To Try To Use Expressions Like That On The Comics Page. People Want To Complain But They Can't, Because They Can't Figure Out Quite What They Should Be Complaining About.

It's Best To Love Your Family As You Would A Siberian Tiger-from A Distance, Preferably Separated By Bars.