When I'm Wrong I'm Like

We Never Had A Pool, Right. So One Summer, I Remember. My Dad, To Make Me Happy. You Know I Was Bummed Out Cause We Didn't Have The Pool. So One Summer He Bought Us This Thing. It Was Yellow, You Laid It On The Lawn, Sprayed It With The Water, Run Across. Slip N' Slide. Yeah. Would Have Been Fun If Dad Checked For Rocks Before He Laid It Down! Slip N' Bleed From The Anus They Should Have Called This Ride.

You Can Try To Steal The Thunder All You Want, It Just Reminds People I'm The Lightning. You Rumble In The Distance. I Light Up The Sky.

You Are The Director Of Your Own Life Story. Don't Cast Idiots Or People Will Walk Out During Your 2nd Act.

Pain Only Hurts When You Are Looking For A Reason To Quit. You Don't Feel A Thing When You Know You Can Still Win.

I'm Shooting A Pilot Based On My Show. It's A One-camera Show. I Play Myself.