I'm Shooting A Pilot Based

When You See Somebody Walking Down The Street Wearing A Superman T-shirt, You Just Want To Shoot Them In The Chest ... When They Start To Bleed Go, I Guess Not

Even When I Go To A Salad Bar, I Need To Feel Like I'm One Of The First People There.

My Mom And Dad Passed Away From Cancer. Within Nine Months, I Lost Both Of My Folks. Immediately After That, I Had A Horrible Betrayal Where My Brother, Who Worked For Me, Stole A Lot Of My Money. He's In Jail Now.

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.

I Say It With My Tongue Firmly Planted In Cheek But There's Truth To It - Being A Comedian Is Very Close To Being A Therapist. When You're Working Smaller Clubs, You're Listening. You're Feeling An Energy, You're Going With A Tone But When People Start Yelling Out, You Almost Start A Conversation With People.