My Favorite Sexual Position Is

I'm A Late-night Guy.

When You Are Doing Stand-up Comedy, You Are The Writer, Producer, Director, Sometimes Bouncer.

I Found Someones Passport On The Ground Tonight. Where Do You Sell These Things?

I Miss Dating Only For That Final Moment You Kiss Goodnight, Watch Her Get Out Of Your Car And Run Into The Police Station.

Sometimes, When You Want To Make A Difference In A Person's Life, Stay Out Of It.