When I Was A Kid

What A Childhood I Had - I Was Ten Years Old When I Found Out Alpo Was Dog Food.

His Breath Is So Bad Why Every Time He Smokes He Blows Onion Rings.

I Live In A Bad Neighborhood. Why, I Saw Two Complete Strangers Share A Taxi - Yeah, One Guy Took The Radio And The Other Guy Took The Tires.

Men Who Do Things Without Being Told Draw The Most Wages.

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'