When I Was A Kid

I Don't Like To Cook. I Can Make A Tv Dinner Taste Like Radio.

Have You Ever Known Anyone Who Bought A Fruitcake For Himself? Of Course Not. They Are Purchased As Christmas Gifts, Mostly For People You Don't Particularly Like.

All I Ever Learned At My Mother's Knee Was What A Bony Knee Looked Like.

My House Used To Be Haunted, But The Ghosts Haven't Been Back Since The Night I Tried On All My Wigs.

I Am Descended From A Very Long Line My Mother Once Foolishly Listened To.