What A Kid I Got,

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

Man, Who Don't Like Spaghetti?

My Son's An Idiot. His Teacher Asked Him To Spell Mississippi. He Asked Which One? The River Or The State?

What A Doctor I've Got - He's Really Mixed Up. Last Week, He Grabbed My Knee And Told Me To Cough. Then Hit Me In The Balls With A Hammer.

Never Tell Your Wife She's Bad In Bed. She'll Go Out And Get A Second Opinion.