What A Dog I Got,

When I Played In The Sandbox, The Cat Kept Covering Me Up.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. In My House, We Pray After We Eat.

We Lived In A Neighborhood That Was Too Rich For Us. When I Was Young, I Had To Deliver Groceries To The Homes Of The Kids I Went To School With. I Had To Go To The Back Doors To Make The Deliveries. It Was Embarrassing. That Was One Thing Out Of A Hundred.

My Wife And I Keep Fighting About Sex And Money. I Think She Charges Me Too Much.

If You Can't Write Your Own Material, You Have Very Little Chance Of Making It As A Comedian.