Welcome To The Academy Awards,

All British Castles And Old Country Homes Are Supposed To Be Haunted. It's In The Lease.

I Went To Play Golf And Tried To Shoot My Age, But I Shot My Weight Instead.

I Once Showed Pat Bradley My Swing And Said, 'what Do I Do Next?' Pat Replied, 'wait Till The Pain Dies Down.'

We Have 51 Golf Courses In Palm Springs. He [president Ford] Never Decides Which Course He Will Play Until After The First Tee Shot.

Jack Benny Really Liked My Book. I Know Because He Called Me Up From The Library And Told Me.