We Want Five Thousand Dollars

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

She Was So Ugly That Her Face Could Stop A Sundial.

All My Wife And I Do Is Fight About Sex. The Other Night, We Really Had It Out. Well, I'll Put It This Way - I Had It Out.

My Wife Has To Be The Worst Cook. I've Got The Only Dog Who Begs For Alka-seltzer.

I Was So Ugly My Parents Had To Hang A Pork Chop Around My Neck To Get The Dog To Play With Me.