Unfortunately, I've Never Been Mistaken

You Never Know What People Will Choose To Be Offended By.

I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama Bin Laden, But Not Less Sexy Than Carrot Top. That, I Find Offensive.

I Always Felt Bad For Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa Lived A Whole Life Helping Starving Children And Dying Villages, But She Could Never Be Declared A Saint 'cause She Never Actually Performed A Miracle. And It Was Towards The End, She Was Desperate To Perform A Miracle, So She Would Go Up To Starving Children And Go, 'what's That Behind Your Ear? It's A Quarter!

People Have Many Theories About Comedy, But Being Just Plain Funny Is The One Most Important Thing.

Well, I Play Jews And Parrots. Parrots Are How I've Branched Out.