Today, John Kerry Announced A

Today, John Kerry Announced A Fool-proof Plan To Wipe Out The $500b Deficit. John Kerry Has A Plan, He's Going To Put It On His Wife's Gold Card.

As Fighting In Iraq Intensifies, President Bush Delivered His Supplemental War Budget To Congress. The Money Will Cover 30 Days Of Fighting, Then We'll Be Sent One War Every Other Month Until We Cancel Our Subscription.

Or As Hockey Player Sergei Fedorov Knows It, 'the Day I Can Legally Start Telling Everyone I Am Sleeping With Anna Kournikova.'

Federal Authorities Have Informed Martha Stewart's Lawyers She Will Be Indicted For Her Role In The Imclone Insider Trading Scandal. Good News For Martha - Stripes Are Back In This Year.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced He's Running For Governor. He's Got A Great Slogan - 'vote For Me, Or I'll Make 'kindergarten Cop Ii