To Me, Comedy Is A

My Friend Named His Car. And I Don't Want To Be Judgemental, But... What A Dork.

It's Weird To Make A Decision Where Everyone In Your Life Disapproves, Pretty Vocally And Directly. They Said, "you've Got One Year Left. Just Do It." I Had A Full Scholarship So I Didn't Have To Pay For It. They Asked, "why Don't You Just Get The Degree So You Can Have It?" And I Said, "you Don't Understand. I Was Trying To Figure Out What I Wanted To Do And Now I Know. I Have The Answer And It's Dumb To Waste Any More Time."

I Never Went Bungee Jumping. The Closest I Did Was I Was Born.

Why Are There Not Positive Mysteries? It's Always Who Stole The Diamond, Or Who Killed The Butler? How About... Who Made Cookies, Somebody Cleaned My Room.

I Thought I Would, You Know, Go To College, Get To Law School, Finish, And Then Get A Job And Work As A Lawyer, But That Proved To Be Not A Good Fit For Me.