Glitter Is The Herpes Of

100% Of The People Who Give 110% Do Not Understand Math.

I Love Having An Open Seat Next To Me On The Train. What's Even Better Is When My Seat Is Open Too Because I Just Stayed Home.

I Didn't Do Improv In College, I Never Performed, I Didn't Do Theater Either. I Was In Student Government, I Was A History Major.

Clowns Have No Respect For Pie.

When A Dalmatian Sees A Cow He Must Be Like, 'what The Hell Happened To Him? I Am High Right Now. That Dalmatian Is Fat And Smeary.' When The Cow Sees The Dalmatian He Must Be Like, 'he Looks Amazing. I Am So Out Of Shape, This Is Ridiculous. My Tits Are On The Ground Here.