To Barbecue Is A Way

I've Known Nicholas Parsons For A Fairly Long Time And His Geniune Pleasures Are In Rubber Tubes, Metal Clips

If You Resolve To Give Up Smoking, Drinking And Loving, You Don't Actually Live Longer; It Just Seems Longer.

I Think Our Police Are Excellent, Probably Because I Have Not Done Anything That Has Occasioned Being Beaten Up By These Good Men.

If Anyone Tells Me I'm Fat, I Say, - That's Because Every Time I Make Love To Your Wife, She Gives Me A Biscuit

I Was Going To Talk About Nicholas Parsons' Ignorance, But 18 Seconds Would Be A Wholly Insufficient Time.