To Barbecue Is A Way

If You Resolve To Give Up Smoking, Drinking And Loving, You Don't Actually Live Longer; It Just Seems Longer.

The Depressing Thing About An Englishman's Traditional Love Of Animals Is The Dishonesty Thereof ... Get A Barbed Hook Into The Upper Lip Of A Salmon, Drag Him Endlessly Around The Water Until He Loses His Strength, Pull Him To The Bank, Hit Him On The Head With A Stone, And You May Well Become Fisherman Of The Year. Shoot.the Salmon And You'll Never Be Asked Again.

There's No Law That Decrees When Not To Whinge, But You Reach A Certain Age - 80 Seems About Right - When You're Expected To Manifest Querulousness - The Coffee's Too Hot, The Boiled Egg's Too Soft.

Owning A Racehorse Is Probably The Most Expensive Way Of Getting On To A Racecourse For Nothing.

I've Known Nicholas Parsons For A Fairly Long Time And His Geniune Pleasures Are In Rubber Tubes, Metal Clips