I've Known Nicholas Parsons For

I Think Our Police Are Excellent, Probably Because I Have Not Done Anything That Has Occasioned Being Beaten Up By These Good Men.

Owning A Racehorse Is Probably The Most Expensive Way Of Getting On To A Racecourse For Nothing.

About One Thing The Englishman Has A Particularly Strict Code. If A Bird Says Cluk Bik Bik Bik Bik And Caw You May Kill It, Eat It Or Ask Fortnums To Pickle It In Napoleon Brandy With Wild Strawberries. If It Says Tweet It Is A Dear And Precious Friend And You'd Better Lay Off It If You Want To Remain A Member Of Boodles.

If Anyone Tells Me I'm Fat, I Say, - That's Because Every Time I Make Love To Your Wife, She Gives Me A Biscuit

To Barbecue Is A Way Of Life Rather Than A Desirable Method Of Cooking.