I Think Our Police Are

To Barbecue Is A Way Of Life Rather Than A Desirable Method Of Cooking.

If Anyone Tells Me I'm Fat, I Say, - That's Because Every Time I Make Love To Your Wife, She Gives Me A Biscuit

In Moments Of Considerable Strain, I Tend To Take To Bread-and-butter Pudding. There Is Something About The Blandness Of Soggy Bread, The Crispness Of The Golden Outer Crust And The Unadulterated Pleasure Of A Lightly Set Custard That Makes The World Seem A Better Place To Live.

I Think Our Police Are Excellent, Probably Because I Have Not Done Anything That Has Occasioned Being Beaten Up By These Good Men.

The Depressing Thing About An Englishman's Traditional Love Of Animals Is The Dishonesty Thereof ... Get A Barbed Hook Into The Upper Lip Of A Salmon, Drag Him Endlessly Around The Water Until He Loses His Strength, Pull Him To The Bank, Hit Him On The Head With A Stone, And You May Well Become Fisherman Of The Year. Shoot.the Salmon And You'll Never Be Asked Again.