Time And Tide And Hookers

What A Childhood I Had, Why, When I Took My First Step, My Old Man Tripped Me!

I Worked In A Pet Store And People Would Ask How Big I Would Get.

One Day As I Came Home Early, I Saw A Man Jogging Naked. I Said To The Guy, 'hey, Buddy, Why Are You Doing That?' He Said, 'because You Came Home Early.'

I Was So Ugly My Mother Used To Feed Me With A Sling Shot.

His Breath Is So Bad Why Every Time He Smokes He Blows Onion Rings.