They Tore Out My Heart

"have You Done Your Homework?" My Mother Would Ask. "i'll Do It Later." "you Will Do It Now, Young Man. I Don't Want You Winding Up On The Third Shift At Flagg-utica." Flagg-utica Was A Local Textile Plant. Somehow, I Never Could Figure How Failing To Read Three Chapters In My Geography Book About The Various Sorts Of Vegetation To Be Found In A Tropical Rain Forest Had Anything To Do With Facing A Life As A Mill Hand. But With Enough Guilt And Fear As Catalysts, You Can Read Anything, Even Geography Books And Deuteronomy.

The Idiot Who Invented Instant Grits Also Thought Of Frozen Fried Chicken, And They Ought To Lock Him Up Before He Tries To Freeze-dry Collards.

Elvis Is Dead And I Don't Feel So Good For Myself.

Let's All Start Walking More And Driving Less.

I Get Letters From People Who Say, 'what Have You Got Against Women?' What Could I Possibly Have Against Women? I've Married Three Of Them.