They Change The Sheets Every

When I Was Born ... The Doctor Came Out To The Waiting Room And Said To My Father ... I'm Very Sorry. We Did Everything We Could ... But He Pulled Through.

After I Got Divorced, I Said To Myself, I Will Never, Ever Get Married Again. It Was In Cement. I Went Through A Really Rough Twenty-five Years, But It Happened Again. I Fell In Love. I Told Her, Baby, I Don't Want A Prenuptial Agreement. This Is It. Everyone Told Me I Was Nuts. Well, My New Wife And I Are Married Six Years And We Get Along Great. You Can Make Anything Work If You're Both Givers.

I Was So Poor Growing Up...if I Wasn't A Boy...i'd Have Nothing To Play With.

My Wife She's Fat. Why, If She Lost A Few Pounds, She'd Be Perfectly Round.

I Could Tell My Parents Hated Me. My Bath Toys Were A Toaster And A Radio.