They Are Quite Hopeless -

I Find Brass Bands Have A Melancholy Sound. All Right Out Of Doors, Of Course - Fifty Miles Away. Like Bagpipes, They Turn What Had Been A Dream Into A Public Nuisance.

When Asked Whether He Minded If Someone Smoked In A Non-smoking Compartment. Certainly Not If You Don't Object If I'm Sick.

Composers Should Write Tunes That Chauffeurs And Errand Boys Can Whistle.

Brass Bands Are All Very Well In Their Place - Outdoors And Several Miles Away.

There Are Two Golden Rules For An Orchestra: Start Together And Finish Together. The Public Doesn't Give A Damn What Goes On In Between.