The Function Of Music Is

Composers Should Write Tunes That Chauffeurs And Errand Boys Can Whistle.

If I Were A Dictator I Should Make It Compulsory For Every Member Of The Population Between The Ages Of Four And Eighty To Listen To Mozart For At Least A Quarter Of An Hour Daily For The Coming Five Years.

All The Arts In America Are A Gigantic Racket Run By Unscrupulous Men For Unhealthy Women.

Beethoven's Last Quartets Were Written By A Deaf Man And Should Only Be Listened To By A Deaf Man.

Madam, You Have Between Your Legs An Instrument Capable Of Giving Pleasure To Thousands And All You Can Do Is Scratch It.