There Was A Young Lady

There Was An Old Person Of Bray, Who Sang Through The Whole Of The Day To His Ducks And His Pigs, Whom He Fed Upon Figs, That Valuable Person Of Bray.

And They Brought An Owl, And A Useful Cart, And A Pound Of Rice, And A Cranberrytart, And A Hive Of Silvery Bees. And They Brought A Pig, And Some Green Jack-daws, And A Lovely Monkey With Lollipop Paws, And Forty Bottles Of Ring-bo-ree, And No End Of Stilton Cheese.

There Was An Old Man With An Owl, Who Continued To Bother And Howl; He Sate On A Rail, And Imbibed Bitter Ale, Which Refreshed That Old Man And His Owl.

And What Can We Expect If We Haven't Any Dinner, But To Lose Our Teeth And Eyelashes And Keep On Growing Thinner?

A Vile Beastly Rottenheaded Foolbegotten Brazenthroated Pernicous Piggish Screaming, Tearing, Roaring, Perplexing, Splitmecrackle Crashmecriggle Insane Ass Of A Woman Is Practising Howling Below-stairs With A Brute Of A Singingmaster So Horribly, That My Head Is Nearly Off.