There Was A Man Sitting

I Just Want To Apologise For Being Late. I Was Flying Back From Spain And The Air Hostess Said: "we Are Two Hours Late Mr Carson." When I Asked Why, She Said: "the Pilot Has Heard A Funny Noise In The Engine That He Doesn't Like, So We Are Waiting On Another Pilot Who Can't Hear It."

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."

America Has Only 100 Senators For 309 Million People, But Stormont Has 108 Members For 1.7 Million.

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.

The Council In Blackpool Have Given The Homeless Bus Passes, But How Would They Know Where To Get Off?