There Is No Such Thing

These Tears I'm Wailing, I Spill Not Without Reason. Remove Them, My Dearest Love. Take Me To The Place I've Been Dreaming Of, Where The Grotesquely Lonely Meet The Grotesquely Lonely And They Whisper, Just Very Softly, Please Be Mine, Dearest Love.

If Met Vic Reeves, I'd Have No Desire Other Than To Smack Him In The Face.

I Avoid People Who I Actually Like. I Suppose That’s A Phobia But Also A Habit.

I Think I'm A Realist. Which People Who Don't Like Me Consider To Be Pessimism. It Isn't Pessimism At All. If I Was A Pessimist I Wouldn't Get Up, I Wouldn't Shave, I Wouldn't Watch Batman At 7:30 A.m. Pessimists Just Don't Do That Sort Of Thing.

I Am Still My Teenage Self. If You Think That We All Step Through A Door Marked Adult, Or That We Sign A Grown-up Document, You’re Quite Wrong. We Remain As We Always Were, And That, Alas, Is One Of Life’s Many Nasty Tricks.