The Wages Of Sin Are

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

I'm Thankful That My Memory Is Good Because My Vision Is Going.

I Was The Youngest In My Family. When The Other Kids Went To School, My Mother Would Make Them Breakfast And Then She Would Go Back To Bed For An Hour, So I Was Sort Of Babysat By Television.

I Don't Need A Holiday Or A Feast To Feel Grateful For My Children, The Sun, The Moon, The Roof Over My Head, Music, And Laughter, But I Like To Take This Time To Take The Path Of Thanks Less Traveled.

When We Save The Rain Forest, The Polar Bear, And Al Gore, We Should Party So Hard That Canada Calls The Cops On Us For Noise.