The True Meaning Of Christmas

Im Not The Voice Of Reason; Im More The Guy Using These Offensive Topics As Fodder To Raise Tension In A Joke.

When I Die, I Want To Be Cremated With Everybody.

Whenever I Meet A Pretty Girl, The First Thing I Look For Is Intelligence; Because If She Doesn't Have That, Then She’s Mine.

You'll Get My Assault Weapon When You Pry It Out Of My Curious Six-year-old's Cold Dead Hands.

Silence Means They [the Audience] Are Paying Attention. Even If I Drop Bombs And They're Dead Quiet, It's Still Okay. If They Start Talking, That's When You've Lost Them.