The Stuff That Made Me

We Really Didn't Have The Option Of Being Couch Potatoes When I Was Growing Up. There Were Only Three Television Channels And The Only Kid's Programming Was On Saturday Morning. We Always Played Outside Until We Could Hear Mom Calling Us (not By Cell Phone But With Her Hands Cupped Around Her Mouth) That It Was Dinner Time.

If Your Biggest Tax Deduction Was Bail Money, You Might Be A Redneck.

I Had To Perform At The White House For The President, That's Always Kind Of A Weird Set To Try To Put Together.

You Don't Get Married To Get Sex. Getting Married To Get Sex Is Like Buying A 747 To Get Free Peanuts.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Parakeet Knows The Phrase Open Up, Police!