The Reason The Rest Of

I Got Jury Duty And I Didn't Want To Go, So My Friend Said, "you Should Write Something Really Really Racist On The Form When You Return It. Like, You Should Put 'i Hate Chinks'." And I Said, "i'm Not Going To Put That On There Just To Get Out Of Jury Duty. I Don't Want People To Think That About Me." So Instead I Wrote, "i Love Chinks." And Who Doesn't?

When You’re A Bed Wetter There’s Only One Group Of People You Can Feel Better Than, Bed Shitters, And Unfortunately They’re Hard To Come By.

I Have Lows, You Know, Everybody Does ... But I Kind Of Know How To Handle It. I Like To Let Myself Wallow In It. I Enforce It With Terribly Sad Music, And It Kind Of Pushes Me Through To The Other Side Eventually, And I Always Know It's Going To Pass.

I Gave Him A Compliment! All Right, I Told Him He Probably Would've Made, Like, A Really Expensive Slave In The, Like, In The Olden-timey Days.

I Love Going To Weddings. And I Love It When My Friends Get Married. I'm Not Against Marriage But It's Just Not For Me. I'm A Vegetarian, But I Don't Have A Problem If You Want A Hamburger.