The Only Way To Really

The Only Way To Really Have Safe Sex Is To Abstain. From Drinking.

I Took An Acting Class. After The First Day, The Teacher Quit, So They Said Take Another. When I Saw 'how To Be A Stand-up Comedian,' It Resonated. I Realized I'd Rather Make 200 People Laugh Than Make One Person Cry.

I Found Out Why Cats Drink Out Of The Toilet. My Mother Told Me It's Because The Water Is Cold In There. And I'm Like: How Did My Mother Know That?

Is There A Doctor In The House? My Parents Want Me To Marry You.

I've Been On So Many Blind Dates, I Should Get A Free Dog.