The Customer Is Always Right!

Man Has An Infinite Capacity To Rationalize - Especially When It Comes To What He Wants To Eat.

Giving The Cat A Name, Like Marriage, Is Not An Easy Thing. Soon I Experienced The Selection Of Name For A Baby, A Dog, A Book, A Warship, A Sports Team, Even The King, The Pope Or A Hurricane Is Just Child's Play Compared To The Selection Of The Cat's Name.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.

I Have Read A Great Deal About What Animals Dream, But None Of It Has Ever Really Satisfied Me. I Believe They Dream Exactly The Way We Dream, And About Everything In Their Lives--that They Have Good Dreams And Bad Dreams In Almost Direct Proportion, As We Do, To Whether Their Lives Have Been More Good Than Bad. Unfortunately, Because The Majority Of Animals Have It So Much Tougher Than We Do, I Believe That The Majority Of Dreams, Except In The Most Fortunate Petdom, Are Bad.

Opera Is Like A Husband With A Foreign Title: Expensive To Support, Hard To Understand, And Therefore A Supreme Social Challenge.