The Core Of The American

I'm Amazed That Anyone Is Interested In What I Have To Say.

Stand-up Is The Only Thing In Which You Actually Write It, Act It And Direct It Simultaneously, So It's Actually A Great Theater Exercise.

If You're Going To Vote For Somebody Because You Think They Have A Great Faith In God, You'd Better Be Sure That God Has Faith In Them.

When You Compare Christmas To Hanukkah, There's No Comparison. Christmas Is Great. Hanukkah Sucks! First Night You Get Socks. Second Night, An Eraser, A Notebook. It's A Back-to-school Holiday!

Being A Playwright Is Like The Equivalent Of Doing A Jigsaw Puzzle That Has 1,500 Pieces, And It's A Jigsaw Of A Blue Sky. Not A Cloud In Sight.