The Average Vice-president Is A

The American Arrives In Paris With A Few French Phrases He Has Culled From A Conversational Guide Or Picked Up From A Friend Who Owns A Beret.

On Ships They Call Them Barnacles; In Business They Attach Themselves To Desks And Are Called Vice Presidents.

Most Of Us Spend The First Six Days Of Each Week Sowing Wild Oats; Then We Go To Church On Sunday And Pray For A Crop Failure.

The Average Vice-president Is A Form Of Executive Fungus That Attaches Itself To A Desk. On A Boat This Growth Would Be Called A Barnacle.

The Average Girl Would Rather Have Beauty Than Brains Because She Knows The Average Man Can See Much Better Than He Can Think- Ladies' Home Journali'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four