Someone Threw A Petrol Bomb

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."

What's The Difference Between My Wife And A Terrorist? You Can Negotiate With A Terrorist.

I Said To The Waitress, "there's A Fly Swimming In My Soup." She Said: "you've Got Too Much Soup - He Should Only Be Able To Paddle."

I'm Not Really A Homosexual. I Just Help Them Out When They're Busy.

I've Been Married To My Wife For 60 Years But It Feels Just Like Yesterday, And You Know What A Bloody Awful Day Yesterday Was.